Signs Your Online Boyfriend isn't Who he Says he is

The Internet has revolutionised the way that people connect with others, as you don’t even need to leave the room to find yourself chatting to someone with similar interests and beliefs or someone with completely different views and opinions. You only have to join a chat room or use one of the myriad social media sites to be able to connect with other people from all over the world, which is clearly a positive thing. Indeed, many people are starting up relationships online and then taking them offline once they have got to know each other better. However, there are a number of risks associated with getting to know someone online.

You may think that you’re in a ‘proper’ relationship with someone online – that one day you will meet and actually build up an offline relationship with that person. You may refer to your ‘boyfriend’ even though you’ve only got to know him online. Of course, if you don’t live very close together it isn’t that easy to just meet up for a quick drink and a chat, so it makes sense to find out whether you have anything in common online and to build up a connection that way. Unfortunately, you can quite easily find yourself growing closer to someone who isn’t who he professes to be.

After all, the Internet offers individuals a degree of anonymity and many people exaggerate about themselves, saying that they have a good job when they’re really unemployed and that they live in a nice apartment, when the reality is they live with their parents. Of course, people can lie in real life, as well, but it is so much easier to construct the life you’d like to lead when your only communication is online. You can quite quickly make others believe that you’re really successful and wealthy when you’re actually not. Clearly, if someone seems too good to be true, the chances are he is. If your ‘boyfriend’ is good-looking, educated, well-off, and has the perfect job, he may be telling the truth, but there is also the possibility he is telling lies.

Of course, it is always difficult to verify the truth. However, alarm bells may start ringing if there are inconsistencies in what he is telling you and if he is evasive when you start asking him more questions. If he tells you that he’s a doctor and you start asking him about the kind of medicine he practices, you would expect him to be able to give you a straight answer, unless he doesn’t really know what he’s talking about. Plus, until you’ve chatted via webcam or actually met in person, you don’t know whether the picture you have of a person is really of him. It’s easy to alter photos or send one of someone else or a picture of yourself when you were younger.

If your ‘boyfriend’ isn’t the person he claims to be, then he’s going to be reluctant to meet. He might make excuses not to meet in the first place, or arrange to meet, but then not show up. He may not answer your calls or only talk to you briefly. It might be the case that your ‘boyfriend’ is already in a relationship and that you’re just someone he messes about with online, so that he can only talk at certain times. You might think you’re in a serious relationship, but he might be using you for something else, whether he wants to try to encourage you to give him money or to have sex with him. It is therefore worth being aware of the dangers of getting involved with someone online.